The Skinny On

No. 80 - A Firm Handshake And Solid Eye Contact

When you meet someone, make a good initial impression.

Most of us make quick assessments when we meet someone new. In just seconds, we size up the other person. And that first handshake - a simple visual and sensory impression - is often a factor in how we feel about someone.

Your handshake should not be a bone crusher. You're just trying to convey that you are real, serious and substantive. A wet-noodle handshake communicates the opposite - the other person will wonder what you are all about.

Similarly, solid eye contact doesn't mean an intense staring contest. It is a soft but riveted look into the other person's eyes. Show them that you're paying attention, that you appreciate meeting them, that you are someone they will want to remember.

People frequently make snap decisions. Recent studies even suggest that snap judgments are sometimes the best judgments. In his the best-selling book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell stated, "decisions made very quickly can be every bit as good as decisions made cautiously and deliberately."

So take advantage of the opportunity to make a good first impression with a firm handshake and solid eye contact.

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression." - Anonymous

Read more about networking, or check out the work-in-progress book 'Street Smarts 101: Lessons Textbooks Miss.'

Click here to learn more about the book The Skinny On Networking.

Your Business Is Your Baby

Check out the book The Skinny On Direct Sales.

Do NOT Read The Fine Print

Whether it's a credit card, a car loan, or a mortgage, every advice monger gives the same worthless advice: "Be sure to read the fine print."

This is a dumb suggestion. Unless you're a law professor - or have nothing else to do for the rest of your life - the fine print will always win. In fact, it is supposed to.

By design, fine print is not meant to be read. Although the font is rarely smaller these days, the important stuff is always deliberately confusing.

People who craft the fine print know what they're doing. They obfuscate. That is their job.

They use long sentences, convoluted phrases and unfamiliar concepts to purposely confuse the reader. Well, that's easy. I could have been a fine-print master.

The goal is not only to confuse but also to dissuade people from reading. Fine print authors presume that 90 percent of readers will eventually stop reading ridiculous verbiage. And they're right. Most people just give up.

This policy of creating breakage - when people quit reading a memo or filing a complaint - is common in many consumer situations. For example, health insurers make reimbursement forms hard to understand so that some percentage of people just won't bother.

So forget the fine print. Here's my advice instead.

Speak to someone at the credit card issuer, the car dealer or the mortgage lender. Tell him or her you have 10 questions, and you want to record the answers for "quality assurance."

Don't quit until you get those answers on tape. By the way, recorded answers will generally stand up in court.

See tomorrow's post for 10 Questions To Ask When Borrowing Money.

Why Honesty is The Best Policy

"Oh! What a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive."
- Sir Walter Scott

Some people think they’re so smart. As if their trickery and manipulation will never catch up them. Eventually, though, these people always end up caught in their own web of lies.

Here are four reasons why honesty is the best policy, other than because your mother says so:

1. Deceit is transparent.

Most people can sense when a person is coloring the truth. Artifice often backfires.

2. You may fool someone once, but you can never fool her twice.

Also, people talk, but angry customers shout from the rooftops. If you develop a reputation for trickiness, you'll never achieve your maximum potential.

3. It takes more energy to lie than to be honest.

Ultimately, success is about applying your limited energy in the right places. It takes creativity to be a good liar. Use that creativity and energy to make a better (and more genuine) pitch.

4. Karma.

I can't explain it. I have no scientific basis for it. I just believe in it.

If you cheat people, bad things will happen to you. That's why good karma makes good networkers.

Top Ten Tips For The First 100 Days In Direct Sales

The first 100 days are your most critical. It's when you either quit or persevere. Here's how to succeed in those first 100 days so there may be hundreds more.

1. Write down WHY you want to be direct sales. Read your WHY statement every day. By staying focused on your goals, you strengthen your resolve to deal with the challenge of your first 100 days.
2. Remember: it's not easy to be an entrepreneur. You are building an enterprise that can give you the flexibility and freedom to live your life as you want.
3. Prepare yourself for the challenge. There will be setbacks, but you can overcome them.
4. Be realistic as to your objectives for the 100 days. Your measures of success should not be tied to sales. Instead, be satisfied with establishing important relationships and building a solid foundation upon which to build your future success.
5. Ask for referrals. Low-tension selling, low (zero) cost of acquisition, and higher conversion rates mean a happy you.
6. You must be patient. Don't rush it. Success will come to those who persist.
7. Educate yourself. Soak in as much as possible.
8. Join every association, organization and club you can. The larger your network (the people who know you), the more likely you will be successful.
9. Over-perform! In a world where people over-promise and underperform, be the opposite. People will be pleasantly surprised and moved to tell others about you.
10. Commit to treat people honorably and with sensitivity to their situation. Do not push beyond the ethical standards you set for yourself.

Back to Blog | Subscribe To Weekly Newsletter

The Key To Successful Networking: Quality Over Quantity

The Internet has made it so easy to connect with people that basic networking concepts have been distorted.

Yes, with the touch of a key, you can send out a missive to tons of people - friends, links, friends of friends and links of links. But the big question is: So what?

If people aren't motivated to help you achieve your objectives, you have a big network of nothingness.

There are two parts to being a great networker. First, there's quantity - connections with lots of people, preferably lots of different people (so that your network spreads in many directions). Second, and more importantly, there's quality.

A strategic networker should be judged not only by her number of connections but also her quality of connections. There are five main ways to achieve quality:

1. Be a quality person. Make a good impression. Be the kind of person that people want to help. People see through creeps. People have no desire to help out creeps.
2. Give to receive. Offer help to others with no immediate or direct return of favor. Abandon the 'tit for tat' mentality, and give people a reason to help you. Accept the premise that if you offer help to enough people, then someone, somewhere is going to reciprocate. Good karma makes good networkers.
3. Keep in touch with your connections. Reach out to members of your network in regular intervals. Here's where the Internet makes life so easy. With just a short e-mail ("thinking about you...miss you, J") you can accomplish so much, so easily. People who were at one time a quality connection become less so over time without contact from you.
4. Market yourself One of the powers of a good network is that connections can work for you. Of course, it's important to let members of your network know what you do. But it's equally important to let them know that you are good at what you do. In a gentle way, tell people of recent accomplishments or successes. Let them spread the word for you.
5. Keep good records. When I meet someone who mentions something or someone that could help me in the future, I jot down a note to myself within 24 hours. "Bill knows John Jones who runs ABC Supplies." You might lose your notes, but the act of writing it down will usually help you remember.

Networking IS working. But it's also very powerful. If you want to be an effective networker, be strategic. Establish as many connections as you can, but NEVER lose sight of the fact that networking only works if those people are inclined to help you achieve your goals.